My Talks with Jesus

Between the combo of "Are you there God? It's me, Annie." and "Dear Jesus," postings on FB it is probable that I am on my way to hell. Combine those with an 1/8 of the things that come out of my mouth, the probability turns into a certainty.

I have talks with Jesus on a daily basis. Mostly it consists of me talking with he and God shaking their heads...Now the Holy Spirit, he totally gets it. However, the Bible says we are all born in God's image so really I'm not in that bad of shape.

For your reading pleasure (also I'm tired due to the holidays) please enjoy a few of my favorite talk with yours truly:

October 12
Are you there God? It's me, Annie. Thank you for serving me my humble pie this morning while at Jazzercise. I didn't realize how in shape (albiet, kinda) I was when I stopped working out when school started. It is quite daunting (albeit, embarassing) to realize that I'm mostly jam cause jelly don't shake like that.

Sept 6
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I am 16 minutes away from the Pink Sock League Fantasy Football Draft.

Aug 11
Dear Jesus,

Thank you for blessing me with such fabulous people to work with. It is so nice to go back to work and not impale myself on #2 pencils or knock myself unconscious with my overhead projector screen.

July 31
Dear Jesus,

I have decided to rethink my stance on several things as I am positive it is a sure fire way to gain entrance into Hell. Considering how FREAKIN' HOT IT IS, I am not meant for these conditions in the afterlife.